Welcome to the premier of Kitten Kitchen: A new way to look at household pets!

In today's episode we'll be looking at how to make Kitten Salad, KLT, and my personal favorite, a Kittenmallow. First of all, we should always wash our hands before handling any type of food whatsoever.

Make sure your hair is tied back so the consumers of the food don't get any nasty surprises!











These are our ingredients for our Kitten Salad. A cucumber, sliced onion, a tomato, a head of lettuce, half of a green pepper, a stick of celery, and a handful of baby carrots.







You then want to carefully select the kitten. Notice the difference in sizes between these two kittens.

The one that is smaller is the one you want to choose.

Why? It's simple really, the smaller ones are more tender because they're young meat.

Also, the older the kitten is, the more likely you have already formed an attachment to it.

Therefore, chose the kitten you have not bonded with.



Then measure out one kitten.

See? Smaller kittens also fit perfectly into a measuring cup which just makes your life so much easier!










After all of this, these are the ingredients you should have:
One kitten.
One head of lettuce.
One cucumber.
One tomato.
One sliced onion.
One piece of celery.
And a handful of baby carrots.








You should then carefully wash all of your vegetables. Remember: It's unethical to wash a cat because they don't like water. It's very important to respect an animal's wishes.

You should then begin chopping up the vegetables.
Remember to cut them into even slices. You want your salad to look pretty. Food tastes better when it looks better.









After you have chopped everything up, you want to begin mixing the ingredients together.

Make sure your kitten doesn't escape!

After you have mixed your salad, it should be ready for consuming.





Next we get to make our KLT! Kitten Lettuce Tomato sandwich! First get two slices of bread. After you place them on a plate, begin squirting mustard onto one slice of your bread. Then place two slices of tomato on your other slice. Then cover up the mustard with lettuce so your kitten's fur doesn't soak up the mustard!
Then you should go and choose your kitten.

Black kittens work best for a sandwich because most people don't like black cats. Don't ask me why, but their obvious disliking for the delightful creatures would give them no reservations with eating them.

After choosing the kitten place the kitten on the lettuce side of your bread.
Close the sandwich with the other piece of bread and enjoy! You have just made a KLT!


Now for everyone's favorite meal! Dessert! We will be making a Kittenmallow. It's a wonderful treat that kids of all ages will enjoy! Plus it's simple to make!

All you have to do is choose a kitten and gather some marshmallows and an attractive cup with a straw! (I recommend a calico cat. Why? Because their striped pelts look attractive and you want your guests to enjoy looking at their dessert as well as enjoy the taste!)

Put your marshmallows and kitten together and ta da! You have an excellent dessert!

And this concludes this episode of Kitten Kitchen: A new way to look at household pets!

(No kittens were actually harmed in the making of this post. We're actually big fans of our cats and we would never dream of eating them! I would like to thank all the baby kittens and older kittens who allowed us to take their pictures. I would also to give kudos to Carissa for using my idea of taking a picture of a kitten in a measuring cup and combining it with my idea of Babies: Hot off the Grill! and also I would like to thank her for buying the vegetables and taking the pictures and cutting up everything while I just posed and posted this!)