mother's day is coming up

Hey everyone. It's Friday and I kind of missed a few Sundays, but I'm here now. Ready? Here we go.

After only 3 months since mom's passing, dad's already dating someone else. Her name is Jan and I feel like I already know too much about Jan without actually having met Jan yet. The thing is, Dorian already had to eat out with her and dad, and dad said he'd take me out to dinner too (he didn't mention Jan because he hasn't mentioned Jan at all to me yet. He probably doesn't think I know about her yet.) But the thing is, the next time I come home is next week for Mother's Day. I'm not sure if I want to meet Jan on Mother's Day weekend, and when I say I'm not sure, I mean I'm definitely sure.

Mother's Day is looming and I'm just worried about my mental health in this upcoming week. Last year, I had pneumonia at this time and couldn't go home for Mother's Day. I remember calling mom about it and feeling bad but she told me that it was alright because "we love each other." Well, that was the last mother's day we could have spent together. She's not here anymore, but I still know we love each other.

People don't get how hard it is to get up every day. I have to deal with everyone else's actions while trying to grieve at the same time. I'm trying to deal with Jan's existence as well as other such issues. I graduate in about a month.

I'm tired of dealing with things. I feel like I'm back in high school facing my senior graduation. I was really tired of everything then too.

I just wanted to drop in and talk a little, but now I'm done for tonight.

Have a great week.